Negril, Jamaica - The First Solo International Trip

No adventurous trips happened the year after the Miami trip, just the usual flying to see friends and family, in other words, status quo. At this point I decided I had gotten my feet wet by traveling alone to Miami and not getting murdered, so I believed I was ready to venture outside the US all on my own, if no one could join me. 

That year started with me knowing that I needed changes in my life. I was stressed out big time because I was hating my job with a white-hot passion and desperately needing to get another one, so I made a plan to do so. It took a few months of hard work and determination, but I did it. Yay!!

After months of job searching and dealing with the headaches of my current job, I was so stressed out I almost couldn't bear it, so I knew I needed a stress free reprieve. I decided a beach vacation was called for. Since it was short notice no friends were available to travel with me so heck I had done Miami alone, I could do this.

I went to a travel agent and booked a trip to Jamaica. I figured I have been there before, so there was no need to explore and see the island as I had already done that. So I picked Negril as my destination because when last in Jamaica we had taken a day trip there, and   I remembered it as being beautiful and relaxing. I don't remember much about the getting there, I just remember arriving and thinking this is just what I needed, a beautiful stretch of beach, a pool and a decent room. I felt myself exhale as all the stress seemed to seep out of my body.

However the stress did return with a vengeance that night because as I was about to fall asleep the power went out. I couldn't believe it, my first time alone in a foreign country and the lights go out. I looked out my window and saw nothing but darkness; I could not even see my hand in front of my face. That's when I got scared, but I gathered myself mentally and decided there was nothing I could do about the situation but worry, so I decided to go to sleep instead, no use worrying about something I could not change.  So that's what I did. When I woke up the next morning, the power had returned and all was right in my world. I found out from the wait staff when I went down for breakfast, the blackout had occurred all over the island for a few hours, so I was really glad I had decided to sleep through it.

I settled into a routine that lasted the entire trip. Breakfast at one of the restaurants by the hotel, then a stroll along the beach, and then I'd return to a spot I have found the first morning, which was a hammock strung between two palm trees that were shaded all day and directly faced the ocean. 

 That was my spot. I settled there everyday right after breakfast with a good book (I had plenty) and my music. It was awesome. When I would get tired of reading, I would look up to glance at the ocean and just be. My soul was happy and oh so relaxed. By mid afternoon each day I would leave my hammock and wander around in the vicinity. One day I sat and watched the beach “Dexters” try to pick up the female tourists. It was very amusing. If you don't know what a Dexter is, check out this clip from YouTube of Eddie Murphy's RAW standup show from back in the day. (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HIRYRykypKA)

I also received attention from a few of the Dexters, but my policy when traveling alone is to smile sweetly, maybe exchange some conversation and JUST SAY NO to anything else. I was not trying to be on someone’s newscast as one of the missing. Better to be safe than sorry, I always say.

I also spent time swimming in the pool. (Let me clarify, I don't swim in the ocean because there are creatures in there). While at the pool I did meet a friendly black couple who was very nice, which was a pleasant surprise. I say surprise because up to this point I had been getting weird looks from other black couples I had seen. My people would give me the kind of looks that made me want to do a quick mirror check, because I would've thought I had suddenly sprouted horns. It was weird until I figured it out, here was the tell all clue, strange looks from both members of the couple immediately followed by the female possessively pulling her man closer. Now I get it “ woman traveling solo”, is on the prowl wanting to steal your man. Uhhh no...  That happened quite a bit. That's why I was so surprised by the pool couple. I spent a few hours just chatting with them because I was just so happy they wanted to talk to me.

Other evenings I would sit on my terrace and read, during one of those evenings I met a nice mother and daughter duo who stopped to chat with me. They invited me to dinner and I ended up spending the last couple of days in their company. I also made friends with the hotel groundskeepers, who ended up helping me with some herbal medicinal advice when I was attacked by fruit flies one night while sleeping in my room. Just thinking about that makes me shudder all over again.

Overall my first international trip was great. It was everything I hoped it would be and it opened my eyes to something I would experience again and again on my solo travels.

Miami Business Follow Up

I forgot to mention what happened with the real estate venture I had initially gone done to investigate.  Well the outcome was I did indeed attend the real estate auction and while sitting there watching people walk in with mass amount of pictures of the properties and stacks of research, and then watching the frenzied bidding, I decided that I did not want to invest because I had not done nearly enough of my own research, and in my mind I just lived too far away to really keep an eye on things.  I just wasn't confident at the time that I could make it work.

Very First Solo Trip - Miami

In late spring of 1996, I was considering investing into out of state real estate ventures, and after some research I though Miami would be a good place to start.  (Actually I chose Miami for another reason but that really does not pertain to this narrative so I just won’t be telling you about it).  I decided if I was going to invest in a place I needed to see where I was putting my money, and since that is a big travel destination I might as well make the trip a vacation as well. 

 I asked friends if they would like to go but no one could travel with me at the time, so I decided what the heck, I’ll go by myself.  This was the first opportunity I had to travel completely solo.  I thought well this is a business trip and lots of people travel solo for business so how hard can it be.  The truth of the matter is I was kind of terrified, because this was me going somewhere alone, not knowing a soul and staying in a hotel by myself.  But I was also excited.

I was fine on the plane ride but once I got off the plane I was scared spitless but I composed myself and handled my business.

I made it to my hotel and ended up getting a sweet room because there was a brother working the front desk that looked at me, smiled and asked if I was traveling alone, I replied yes and told him it was my very first time, so he gave me a huge corner room.

The lobby of the hotel had a fifties décor going on and from what I remember it was nice.  I settled in and made plans.  Since I did not have a car I had to figure out the public transport system which I did, and I made my way around the area with no mishaps.  I looked at it as an adventure, which it was.  I went on tours of the city, went on a boat ride and just explored.  I also hung out at the beach and by the pool of course.   I ended up having a lot fun and being swept off my feet by a man I met by the pool,  (which lasted all of a month with a few phone calls  after the trip was over, but hell it was fun while it lasted and taught me to keep vacation “love” in perspective).

I was so proud of myself once I made it home; I just knew that this was something I could do again and again.  So hell if no one else could join me, then I could totally go it alone, or as I like to call it solo.

That was my first trip by myself but it definitely would not be the last.

Prologue: The Decisions and Events That Led to Solo Travel

I am a woman that has always liked to travel. Back in my twenties, I was always up for a quick trip to see relatives or friends, and usually enjoyed the time away, but I had never really been that far from my home base so to speak.  When I was 25, some friends and I decided to go to the Caribbean, it was a first for most of us, so we excitedly sat down and planned the trip and eventually made our way to the Bahamas.  We had such a good time we decided we had to make traveling like this a yearly event.

Unfortunately all did not go as planned, things came up and time got away from us, so no trips were embarked upon and none were even being considered.  2 years passed and with no trip on the horizon, I found out other friends were going to Puerto Rico, so I ended up inviting myself on that trip. We had a great time. I promised myself then that I would do some kind of vacation every year if it killed me.  The next year came, and I corralled my friends together and planned a winter trip to Jamaica.  This group of friends were a few of my closest, plus two friends of friends, and though we had a great time, one of the extras, ended up being a complete bitch.  She actually did her best to almost ruin our last night there.

 

How did she almost ruin our night you may ask, well let me tell you the story. As I mentioned earlier, three of the group were my really close friends; the other two were just casual friends to me through two of those friends.  My friends were Denise, Sasha and Leah.  Beelzebub was a friend of Denise and Sasha. The whole trip she just had a nasty attitude, and she was rude, especially to the men who made the mistake of trying to flirt with her, which is fine if you’re not interested. But my motto when you're on vacation, is this, be friendly, even if you're rejecting the flirtation because after all you don’t have to take him home, but you also don’t have to be a rude assed bitch either. 

  

Denise had made “friends” with one of the hotel bellman during our trip, and he invited the group to his friend’s restaurant on our last night there.  We were picked up by another of bellman’s friends, so eight of us squeezed into a car, it was a big car mind you, but there were eight of us, so it was a tight ride, as we drove way out into the countryside of Montego Bay.

Upon arriving at the restaurant, and let me tell you it looked more like a shack than a restaurant, we walked in, to find what upon first glance looked like a complete dive.  Everyone sitting at the bar looked like the Jamaican version of a rough neck. I was kind of expecting to see machetes lying on the bar because those brothers looked scary as hell. As we made our way to the back area, we smiled big old smiles and said hello to everybody in that joint.  The back room was the main dining part of the bar, and it was surprisingly very nice.  We sat down and proceeded to have a very good time.  

When the check came, Beelzebub started bitching about the amount she was charged. (As a side note at the time the exchange rate was 33 Jamaican dollars to every one US dollar. So basically Beelzebub was arguing over pennies). The rest of us looked at her like she was crazy. Did she forget where we were, and who was sitting out front?  I really wanted to shout “girl have you lost your damned mind!”  Leah and I lay our money on the table with a smile, and said thank you for the hospitality to the owner and excused ourselves, saying we had to go to the restroom.  We nonchalantly strolled outside, smiling sweetly at the men at the bar as we left.  We waited on the others to settle the dispute, wondering if we would have to make a run for it and knowing if we did, we would be out of luck because we didn't know where the hell we were.  Luckily it all worked out and we made it back to the hotel in one piece.

I later told Denise and Sasha they needed to speak to Beelzebub about her attitude and behavior, as for me and Leah, we couldn't wait to see the back of her.

After that trip I promised myself to be more discriminate when choosing traveling companions (in other words don’t travel with that chick ever again!!!!)  

When the next year came around most of the members of the group either had boyfriends who did not want them going anywhere without said boyfriends, or the scheduling couldn’t be agreed upon, so the group dwindled down to just two. We went to Cancun.  Even though it was only a duo, we had a nice time.

I made myself the same promise once again when I got home, that I would be traveling again the next year, and if I had to do it alone then so be it.  (Of course I did not expect that would happen so I knew I was lying to myself, or so I thought).

What this so called prologue has led up to, is my first real experience of taking a true vacation alone.  ALL BY MYSELF, as Eric Carmen would say in a song. (I just found out who sung that, by the way. You learn something new every day, because I really thought it was a woman). 

Intro to the Travel diary

I decided to write this blog while sitting on a beach in the Dominican Republic, staring at the ocean and sipping a cocktail last November.  I wanted to commune with those who might be like me, which from my experience has been a bit of an anomaly particularly in my age group, which is cough mid 40s cough.   

What I am is a single black woman who mainly travels solo. I wanted to go back to when I made the decision to begin traveling alone, and to reminisce about each subsequent trip after.  What I usually do when I travel alone is keep an extensive diary about my trips, which is why I can tell you about each one with quite a bit of detail.  

 So if you are along for the ride, enjoy.